How do families mark Chinese New Year after a bereavement?
By Chinese tradition, when a family member has died within the past year, many families choose not to visit others for New Year greetings (bai nian, 拜年) and do not put up red couplets (chun lian, 春联), while still welcoming relatives and friends who come to visit. How long mourning lasts, and whether couplets go up and in what colour, differs widely by dialect group, religion and family, so many families talk it over with their elders first. Chinese New Year 2027 falls on Saturday, 6 February, and families in this situation may find it helpful to discuss plans early.
Why do many bereaved families not visit others at New Year?
Traditionally, New Year is a joyful festival. A grieving family staying home is seen as a kindness to others, and also gives the family quiet time to remember.
What do published sources say?
A publication of the Singapore Federation of Chinese Clan Associations, citing a collection of Teochew folk customs, notes that traditionally a bereaved family does not visit relatives and friends during New Year, and for a year does not attend weddings, full-month celebrations and other happy occasions, though gifts of money may be sent through someone else. A Q&A on Chinese funeral customs from a Singapore obituary platform also says that a bereaved family usually does not take part in the usual New Year celebrations for a year or visit friends at home, but there is no restriction on receiving visitors.
The thinking behind it
The common understanding is that this arrangement looks after everyone’s feelings. Relatives can enjoy the festive mood, and the bereaved family can move through grief at its own pace. Some families keep this as a tradition year after year; others adapt it to their circumstances, for example staying home only on the first two days of the New Year.
Do families put up couplets during mourning?
Traditionally, a bereaved family does not put up red couplets, but how many years this lasts and what colour may be used instead differ from place to place; there is no single practice.
| Custom | Where it is recorded |
|---|---|
| Couplets are taken down during the funeral, and red couplets are not put up for three years | Teochew folk customs (Singapore Federation of Chinese Clan Associations publication) |
| Yellow couplets are put up in the second year of mourning | Taiwanese tradition (Newtalk report) |
| The mourning period is shortened to one year, with plain clothing worn during that year | A more common present-day practice (same Federation publication) |
In everyday life, some families put up nothing in the first year and resume from the second; some use a different colour; and some, depending on their faith, simply leave out the most festive decorations. Each of these reflects a family’s own tradition and beliefs.
How long does mourning usually last?
Traditionally, children mourned a parent for three years; today many families observe shorter stages, such as 49 days, 100 days or the first anniversary. The Federation publication notes that a three-year mourning period is no longer expected, and some people wear plain clothing for one year only. Another source says the mourning period after a funeral is generally 49 days, with many families holding a further remembrance at 100 days. Common stages are:
- Zuo qi (做七) to the seventh seventh day (49 days): prayers held every seven days after death, a stage many families hold especially dear.
- 100 days (百日): many families hold a 100-day remembrance.
- First anniversary (对年): many families treat this as the close of mourning, after which red couplets and New Year visits resume.
- Three years: the traditional period, still kept by some families today.
If the death was close to the New Year, for example a month or two before, some families hold simpler prayers over the festive days, while others continue the seven-day rites as usual. Family elders or the religious teacher leading the rites can advise.
How do different faiths see it?
These practices come mainly from Chinese folk custom rather than religious requirement, and each faith has its own view.
Buddhist families
A Buddhist Q&A column notes that whether to join festivities during mourning is “generally not a Buddhist concern”, and also mentions doing meritorious deeds on behalf of the deceased. Buddhist families may wish to ask a monk or nun they know.
Christian families and other faiths
Christian families can ask their pastor, and families of other faiths can consult their own religious teachers.
When family members hold different beliefs
It is common for one family to include several faiths. Many families sit down together to find an arrangement everyone feels comfortable with, showing understanding for one another.
How do families handle other New Year plans?
Families differ in how they approach ang pow (red packets), the reunion dinner and home decorations. Some common approaches, for families to consider together:
Red packets
Some families give red packets to children as usual, some ask another relative to hand them out, and some pause for the year. Many families simply want the children to still feel cared for.
The reunion dinner
Many families still gather for the reunion dinner. Some set a place at the table or offer incense for the departed first, bringing remembrance into the reunion.
Home decorations
Some families leave out lanterns and most red decorations; others keep things simple. Families can decide according to their elders’ views and how everyone is feeling.
How can relatives and friends visit a bereaved family at New Year?
Visiting is welcome. A bereaved family generally does not go out visiting, but there is no restriction on receiving visitors. Many visitors keep a few things in mind:
- saying “wishing you a peaceful New Year” (新年平安) or “take care” (多保重) in place of festive greetings such as gong xi fa cai (恭喜发财);
- bringing simple fruit or just their good wishes; some visitors leave out very festive gift boxes;
- if the family would like some quiet, a phone call or message is just as caring;
- listening more than talking, and letting the family share at its own pace.
Common questions
Do bereaved families attend other people’s New Year gatherings?
Families differ. Traditionally, a bereaved family does not attend happy occasions for a year and may send a gift of money through someone else. Other families decide according to how close they are to the hosts, the type of gathering and how they are feeling, for example joining only a small meal with close relatives. Families can talk this over with their elders, and simply letting relatives know their plans usually helps; most will understand.
How do families plan when children come home for the holidays?
Many families still use the New Year break to be together. Some visit the cemetery or columbarium as a family, and some offer incense at the ancestral tablet at home, treating the holiday as time to keep one another company and remember together.
Summary: how do families mark New Year after a loss?
- Many bereaved families do not go visiting or put up red couplets within the year, while still welcoming visitors.
- How long mourning lasts and how couplets are handled vary by dialect group, faith and family.
- Red packets, the reunion dinner and decorations can be arranged according to the elders’ views and the family’s feelings.
- For visitors, a simple “peaceful New Year” wish says a lot.
FLS (福禄寿) Kuantan has walked alongside many families who said goodbye to a loved one around the year-end. What we would like to share is that customs exist to bring comfort, not to add pressure. This year’s New Year may be quieter, but the family is still together.
This article is brought to you by the FLS (福禄寿) Kuantan Life Education Column. More information: flsgroup.com.my
Quick answers
Do bereaved Chinese families visit others for New Year greetings?
By Chinese tradition, when a family member has died within the past year, many families do not visit relatives and friends for New Year greetings or attend celebrations, though gifts may be sent through someone else. This is a folk custom rather than a religious rule, and practice varies by dialect group and family, so many families discuss it with their elders.
Do families put up couplets during mourning?
Traditionally, a bereaved family does not put up red couplets, but the length of time and colour vary by place. Teochew folk custom records no red couplets for three years, while Taiwanese tradition puts up yellow couplets in the second year of mourning. Today, many families leave couplets out only in the first year and resume after the first anniversary.
Can relatives visit a bereaved family during Chinese New Year?
Yes. A bereaved family generally does not go out visiting at New Year, but there is no restriction on receiving visitors. Many visitors say “wishing you a peaceful New Year” or “take care” in place of festive greetings such as gong xi fa cai, and a phone call or message is also a caring choice.
How long does Chinese mourning usually last?
Traditionally, children mourned a parent for three years, but today many families observe shorter periods. Many hold the first 49 days especially dear and mark the 100th day and the first anniversary, after which red couplets and New Year visits resume. Practice differs between families, so elders and religious teachers can advise.